Oh hey! Entering this new year looking back at the previous one. It almost feels like my life in Miami and the US was a dream, was it even for real? More than anything, it was a trip through the mind and an advancement of my personal consciousness. It was a year in which I subconsciously as well as later on, purposefully, expanded into the mold that I was born for. I downsized in many ways, but grew in other. Many times while still living in Miami, I felt like I wasn’t myself. So surreal and impossible to describe. But almost like an out of body experience. Didn’t recognize certain parts of the person that I normally am. But looking back at it from a distance, I know how much purpose such an odd/uncomfortable experience has. Not least because it forced me to turn myself upside down and inside out to realize what the fuck I am supposed to do with myself moving forward.
Even though I honestly didn’t feel for much really, cooking was a comforting part of the past year. Mostly for myself in my tiny little studio that i rented on Miami Beach. While listening to music, meditating, reading and dreaming of tiny little islands and more gentler climate. Some photos of that studio:
It was a fulfilling task to decorate an empty space, after having lived many years on a sailboat. The comparatively small space, felt enormous to me. So grateful to be able to move freely without ducking and dodging corners and low ceilings! Did my best not to clutter the home. Clean space and fresh air is where I thrive the most.
Lots of light and open space.
98% decorated with old vintage finds and small treasures from the boat. The less new material which leads to over production in an already extremely wasteful world, the better imo.
The same goes for books, always ordering used ones when possible. And yes I still prefer the feeling of turning pages with my fingers, rather than swiping on something impersonal that needs electricity and hurt the eye. Not super positive now that it’s being shipped from America though….
Some of you may wonder what I worked with over the 2,5 years I was in the US in total. Besides working on opening that café you know, and building my little take-out company in Massachusetts before that, I also worked in several different restaurants, partly to gain some insights into running a restaurant in America. This pic is from my friend’s Turkish restaurant on South Beach where I worked as bartender/waitress 😀 Good times..
Back to the apartment. Might not be so interesting for you to see all these shots but I’m keeping this blog as my diary as well and pics always remember more than the mind.
Chickpea and root vegetable soup in the making.
Organic TVP soy protein with sprouted lentils, vegetables and basil/cilantro pesto.
Raw strawberry cake with lemon cashew filling. Obsessed that I easily get at times when stumbling upon something likable, I once made like eight different raw cakes in one week.
For lazier days I ordered in sushi from SuViche. Grateful for their fast and reliable service when all I wanted was to lock myself in for days at end. I have always loved my own company, which is one of the reasons I left to go sailing for many years. To get to be alone with my thoughts. But this year has showed me how much solitude really means to me. If a human being could turn oneself into a hermit, I think I am pretty close to it. Hence why I have now moved to an island by myself, but more about that later on. And yes, I still fall for the temptation of eating wild caught fish such as tuna every now and then. Although you have to try SuViches veggie roll if you ever get the chance, delicious..
Red beet smoothie with spinach cacao nibs and whatever else there was in it.
To have lived on Miami Beach with the playa three blocks away, I spent shamefully little time by the water. Wasn’t too fond of the touristy feel of South Beach. And couldn’t help myself day dreaming of rugged rocky shores that you could have all to yourself. I might have not done what other’s would call “the best of the situation” – but for me being alone, philosophizing and doing my own stuff felt much more appealing at the time. Many ideas and life concepts realized.
I found myself preferring the beach early morning and by the nightfall mostly. And while most people love Miami for the glittery parts of it, I kept being drawn to the cute little houses and gardens in the outskirts of the city.
And what happened to Duende (the boat) you might ask? We hauled her up finally and did a few weeks of work on the yard. Bottom paint, changed prop, covered the coach roof with a few layers of carbon to seal a few minor leaks and make the boat even sturdier (Alex’s obsession lol) etc.
Had a nice sail up the coast to Northern Florida where the boat is staying for the winter.
Driving up my belongings to Boston from where most of my stuff will be shipped to my new home. Isn’t Scituate so beautiful?
And what happened to Alex and I? Oh that question I’ve received so many times on social media 😀 Such a hard question to answer, as nothing really happened. Maybe that’s what it was, looking at it from a relationship point of view. After having lived a pretty intense demanding life on the boat for five years or so, we both longed for getting back to being productive (maybe as a chance to escape each other haha). But you know, doing other things we love. So rather than focusing on us as a couple which had been the focus for a long time until then, we consciously decided to spend more time on what gives meaning to our lives as individuals. What a grown up thing to do right? Seriously speaking, there comes a time when you have to make a choice. Stay in the same spot and fight to make a relationship that had turned differently work (lots of tiny little unimportant things that caused frustration from both parts as it easily happens when living on 20 sq meters for many years) and eventually maybe end of hating each other due to the always present differences. Or, take a step back, reassess the situation and let both listen to their hearts without disruption of the other persons needs and wants.
The five year sailing trip (of 6 yrs relationship) we’ve been through together is a unique thing that has brought us closer. Made us into family. We never wanted to destroy the beauty and importance of it. Realizing this sounds like a piece of cake. It wasn’t. Making the decision to go separate ways when the love is still there and nobody have actually hurt the other in any major ways, that’s not a light thing to put on your heart and mind. But we’re finally on the other side now with immense love in our hearts for each other still, and that’s what matters. We speak often and it’s a very interesting time for both of us now with all new changes and moves. We will always be some of the most important people in each other’s lives.
We both arrived at a time in life when we both needed exactly that which we received from the other, and there is so much beauty to respect and be grateful for, in only that. As much as one have to respect the new changes that unfolds. And adapt to those accordingly.
So where am I now you wonder? Well I crossed that big ole ocean again (on a plane this time), and took a boat out to an island not extremely far from where Alex and I once started our trip. You know how much I’ve always been nagging about that Mediterranean sea… ever since we left it LOL.
Namely a little island in Greece.. here I’ve got my peace of mind back. The mountains, the ocean, the quietness and beauty of pure unadulterated nature. It was a long time ago that I felt this much calm and harmony in my heart. And life has gotten a new profound purpose. I am going to work from here as a health coach, and I’m also renting out some houses for tourism as well as for holistic nutritional retreats and such. All just started… but mostly I’m finding my way back to my self again which is the most meaningful thing with this move.
Hope you’ve all been well. I promise to be more in touch from now on. Thanks for following along like always.
Peace & love